what's in a name

You might be wondering why I decided to name this new blog "My Incomplete Family." And I've got an answer for you. Sort of.

Naming a blog is a tough thing. For starters, there are soooooooooooo many other blogs in the world today that just finding a name that's available is tricky nowadays.

And then there's the matter of finding something catchy, something that gets to the heart of what you want to write about while being easy to remember. And clever - let's not forget clever.

Not that I'm saying that my blog name is clever. But it does get to the heart of what I want to write about, and it's shorter and easier to remember than some of the others I considered. Whoooeeeeeee... trust me on that!

I'm sure there are some who will say I'm being disrespectful or unappreciative of the family I DO have by calling it an "incomplete" family, the family I have been blessed with. And they would be mistaken.

Here's why I picked the title...

In a conversation I had with someone about our fertility struggles a year or two ago, the person I was talking with said that I should be grateful for the child I DO already have, as well as for my stepdaughter, and just accept that a second pregnancy wasn't in the cards for me.

I had to stop myself from responding impetuously and think through the right way to address that, because it IS something that has weighed on me at times.

Finally I figured out how to say what I really wanted to say in response to that. And it was this:

When you and your husband met and fell in love and decided to build a life together, and you were picturing the family you wanted together, how many children did it include? None? Just one? Or was it two? Or four? Or six?

Us wanting another child doesn't mean we don't appreciate the two we already have between us; if anything, going through so much to try to have another and not being able to make it happen has made us appreciate the miracles of Super Girl and Super Boy more than ever. It's just that we still hope to have the family we pictured ourselves having: which included me, Super Man, Super Girl, Super Boy -- and another child.

Before I met Super Man, I always wanted three or four kids of my own. After I met him, and he was older than me and already had Super Girl, I compromised with wanting just two together. We have one of the two -- and we're still praying for the other.

So, yes -- to me, our family still feels incomplete. Is it still a wonderful, beautiful, blessed family? Absolutely; there's no question about that. It's just that we're still one person short of the family we envisioned ourselves having, and that missing person is always on my mind.